You Need Love Languages but for Communication Methods

In the modern era we have a gazillion ways to contact and communicate with people. But are we being unkind by not first finding out what their preferred method(s) might be?

Certain people and groups have been hard to get responses back for me. This has caused me to wonder whether I am mismatching the communication methods. Yes, there could be content issues but some of this seems like I might be yelling into a cave in which no one lives.

Why is there a Communication Breakdown?

People are unique.

Simple as that. Sometimes the method with which they want to receive information varies based on generation, gender, occupation, or personality type.

Some people just flat out have never bumped into Telegram, Signal, Slack, Marco Polo, etc. Some people find a phone call anxiety-inducing. Some people don’t notice or process through text messages. Some people are annoying by voicemails and ignore them (guilty!) Some people check their email once-a-month instead of multiple times an hour.

We might wish that everyone wanted to communicate with us in our preferred method but similar to the so-called Love Languages, that desire for a “double coincidence” of preference isn’t often met.

How do you solve the Communication Method mismatch?

Seems to me a good starting point is to just ask them.

“Hey, what is the best way to send an invite or ask a question? Text? Email? Call you on the phone?”

Sometimes we just assume preferred methods based on age. I’m finding there is a broader diversity within age brackets than there used to be.

You wouldn’t bring only your credit card to a cash-only restaurant – don’t even attempt to use a mismatched communication method with someone.

Communication Methods to Consider

Just to jumpstart your thinking, here are some of the many popular communication methods out there…

4 Tactics for Communication Success

1. Match the Method to the Person
Like we discussed above, when possible, use their preferred method(s)

2. Match the Message to the Method
Don’t call when a text will do. Don’t text when the length matches an email. etc. Not all messages are the right fit for all methods.

Length of content, multimedia support, ability to convey tone, formality (or informality) required, capability for asynchronous response, etc. These aspects matter!

3. Be ready to use Multiple Methods
It is silly but sometimes I need to text people to let them know they have an email.

4. Be Empathetic (CRUCIAL!)
Communication is always demanding something of someone else.

We don’t usually have an absolute claim to their time. We need to act with respect and consideration with our communication – not just because the results will be better, but because we care about them.

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