Hard Questions for Christians on Transgender / Gender Identity Issues

Christianity has only really begin to wrestle with good responses to Transgenderism and issues of Gender Identity in the last few years. The easy questions are what get the attention. What follows are some challenging questions that are difficult to parse through.

These questions might be some of the hardest imaginable in terms of having responses that are filled with both love, sympathy, grace, humility, kindness, and also truth, concern for holiness, and what honors God.

There is a tension between keeping peace and in relationship and remind of truth, and admonishing in love.

This post is a work in progress. More questions to be added.

Weddings and Anniversaries

A couple in a “marriage” you think is sinful (e.g. same sex / transgender) is having an anniversary. What do you say or do?

The couple having the anniversary takes a trip, do you say “have a nice trip”?

If they text photos to the family group, what can you say and react with?

Gift Giving

The broader family is all being given gifts like personalized towels or pillows, do you give that to the transgender couple as well?

Hospitality

You invite the homosexual couple in your neighborhood over for dinner. They ask you how you and your spouse met. You tell a cute story. Now what? Do you ask the same question in return? And even more so, if/when they tell a cute engagement/wedding story, how do you respond? Can you tell them they have beautiful taste in engagement rings?

Personal Relationships

A transgender asks you to refer to them by their pronouns. Do you? Does it make any difference if it is a coworker, friend, or close family member? Do you abide by this desire differently depending on the context? e.g. at a restaurant, with their friends, or at a family gathering.

What kind of conversation is appropriate with a “married” transgender relative? Should you avoid the traditional questions of “Have you found it easy to communicate with each other?”, “What ways has God grown you this past year?”, “What’s something totally unexpected you’ve found in marriage?”.

Family

A “married” transgender relative expresses a desire to have kids. How do you respond?

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