Leading a small group can be a joy but if not handled properly groups have a tendency to fail as time goes on. Here are two critical techniques to lead a small group or book study long term.
Admonish the Talkers
We all know that guy. He talks constantly within a group discussion. Not only that, he interrupts others, sometimes sharing obvious points, or even derailing into some side quest where he pulls out his favorite axe to grind (he has many).
Unchecked, this type of person will slowly kill a group over time.
As leader / facilitator of a group it is imperative you head this off at the pass. There are a couple approaches you can take:
- Send a private text encouraging them to keep things brief and make room for others to talk. You can even attempt to appeal to them as an ally working towards the best for the group. A phone call could be a way to work through this and ask questions to ascertain their awareness of the issue.
- Next level up from an encouragement to make space for others, would be an admonishment. You may need stronger words and more oriented to their behavior being disruptive to the group dynamic. This might best be done in person over something like coffee or lunch.
- Finally, if all else fails, even others trying to address, and they are not willing to recognize and address an issue… they need to be asked to leave.
The health of the overall group is important enough that the untamed tongue must be addressed or the group WILL eventually fade.
Encourage the Silent
It won’t kill a group the same way the careless blatherer will but your group is really missing out if you can’t encourage the quiet and introverted types to contribute.
The types most likely to quietly watch and listen often have fantastic insights. They are spending most of the time imbibing and thinking about the subject, not thinking about how to look smart or what point they want made.
How do you encourage their participation?
- It doesn’t work for everyone, and risks mortifying them but just asking “hey Tim, we haven’t heard from you on this yet, anything strike you?” or ” John, how would you answer that question?” may be enough to elicit participation.
- If they do contribute and it is meaningful, leverage that glimmer of light and let them know you appreciated the contribution. Send a helpful text afterwards, something like, “Hey, appreciated what you said about XYZ. You should share more often as you have great insights!”
- Sometimes the introverted types need a few seconds of silence before contributing. If your group has a frenetic energy with few pauses, it will be hard for them to feel like they can cut in with a comment. Don’t be afraid silence.
As group leader you need to hold back the energetic barking dogs as well as prompt and push the hesitant shy types. If you can do that then a small group can push into the 8-12 member range. If those aren’t in balance, the group will stay small or eventually dissipate.
Go forth and lead!
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